Officer, stop that man!

Because he stole my freakin' bike, that's why!

My first day at work after school holidays have started, and my bike gets stolen. Coincidence? Doubtful. Ok, so it could have been anyone. But my bet is on little shits with nothing better to do with their spare time than steal my belongings. If you're out there, kid, and you're reading this. And you stole a bike from Carousel on Tuesday. Here's what you can do. Take the bike back to where you took it from. Put it in the same spot. Go and ring the doorbell of Miss Mauds (The door with the sign on it). Wait 'till someone comes out. Say "Here is Simon's bike back", then run like shit kid. Because I'll be comin' for ya, Mr Staballot by my side.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, give me back my bike you theiving little shitbuckets. I won't be angry, if you give it back.

All that aside, I'm not doing too badly. Gotta start work early tomorrow, so can't stay for long. Still have to email Jane. That's important that is.

Important things in my life are as follows:
I got a pocketwatch.
My bike got stolen.
I'm close to getting a new computer.

Actually, I should point out, that it wasn't actually my bike. It was Tim's. But he never uses it anymore. And I doubt he ever would have again, and mine was shit (But the only option now). That's not the point though, it was still his bike. So, just so you know, I used Tim's bike to get to work, and it got stolen. Doesn't stop me being pissed off about it though.

Clearly false advertising.

In eating a box of "Guylian Chocolate sea shells" the other day. I noticed that they were not, in fact, all sea shells. To my surprise, I discovered a shrimp, and a seahorse! I beg to differ Guylian! Those are not shells! Now I know you might think this a bit dodgy, but that's why I have photographic evidence to back me up on this. Let's do a little test now shall we? Is this a shell?
Correct! It is, Obviously Guylian is not stupid, right?

WRONG! That is not a shell Guylian! You specifically state, on your box. That... look, I'll show you the picture, it's blurry, but that's what it says.

Lies I say, ALL LIES!

Never will I believe another chocolate box.

This is your man... in a... can? Oh I don't know, I'm a fucking news reporter alright.

Gratz on the level.

Well, as you may or may not have known, I had my shindig on Saturday. With the ladz, and others around. We had a grand time. A slow grand time, Let us say, a time. And I was presented with mad loot. An overally picture of which can be found below. We played croquet, as well as the gamecube towards the end of the night. Some gatecrashers showed up. Mum was hilarious.

"PAUL!" Good times.

Oh, and Dad got rather sick because there was garlic in the fried rice. Silly silly dad and his silly allergies.

Now I'm just anticipating the arrival of a package from far away, in mysterious lands. OoOoOoOh.